Insta-love is a cliché that most of us don’t really enjoy, yet it keeps getting written. I know, I don’t really get it either. Alas, it’s there, which means we always have some thoughts about it.
I read a book recently that made me realize that insta-love can be more complex than just two people falling in love quickly. There are actually two different types of insta-love. This also got me thinking about how most of the books insta-love is included in are targeted towards tweens and teenagers. So, naturally, I wanted to chat about it with you guys.
This is more of a question post. I’m going to share with you what I think the types of insta-love are, and then I’m going to pose a question that we can discuss in the comments! It’s better than me just rambling in here. So, let’s get conversing 🙂
THE TWO TYPES OF INSTA-LOVE (ACCORDING TO ME)
I find that there are two types of insta-love. The regular kind and the kind that’s on crack. Let me explain:
Regular Insta-Love
Insta-love is when two people fall in love rather quickly. It’s when you’re reading a book and the MC meets the person who will obviously be the love interest & they go bonkers. They can’t stop thinking about them. They tell each other they’ll die for one another. You know what I’m talking about. The story usually takes place over the course of several months or years, but the romance sparks early on.
I’m not a fan of insta-love. However, I can tolerate that kind of insta-love more than the next kind.
The Limited Time Love Story
Which I will be abbreviating as TLTLS.
TLTLS is similar to insta-love in that it has two characters that fall in love quickly and usually the story is consumed by that love. However, the difference between the two is the time you have with the characters. With TLTLS, you don’t get several months or years to eventually warm up to that romance. You get maybe a week. Thus, the entire story revolves around these two people and how they are so obviously meant to be together so it is inevitable that it will take them precisely the amount of time they have together to fall madly in love. I’m thinking about books like November 9, The Sun Is Also A Star, Between the Devil and the Deep Blue Sea, and Autofocus.
In November 9, after one day they decided to meet every single year (not as bad as others). In The Sun Is Also A Star, the MC couldn’t stop thinking about the boy she met while her family was about to be deported that night! In BTDATDBS (it’s a long title, ok), she was in his bed by, I believe, the second night. In Autofocus, which is a book I liked, the MC was falling for the boy within a day but they only had a week together.
What insta-love has that TLTLS doesn’t have, is more time to eventually develop those feelings. Take Twilight for example. They do fall in love rather quickly, but then the rest of the story takes place over the course of two years. With TLTLS, you’re cut off.
Are either really love?
That depends on if you believe in love at first sight. I don’t. However, I do think you can fall in love quickly – but not that quickly. I could go into my thoughts on what love means and why I don’t believe that you can fall in love at first sight, or within a week, but I won’t bore you with those details.
What it really comes down to is your how you feel/your opinion on love. Is that love? Or is it lust? Is it just a slight infatuation but those butterflies may be telling the MC that it’s more?
When the characters fall for each other quickly, that can be irritating. Now imagine if they only have one week together – that’s all you, the reader, get to see, and that’s all the time they have to fall in love & build this believable romance. I can’t say that’s actually love.
should this be in YA?
I suppose that is my real question. Fiction is fiction, I get that. However, a lot of the books that contain this type of story, that take insta-love a step further, are YA novels. So, my question is, do you think this can be detrimental to teenagers?
You know how people say Disney princess movies made young girls believe that a prince will come save them one day? Well, could the same be said for insta-love, especially TLTLS? Could you say that tweens and teenagers will think that is how relationships usually are? Is that what they will be subconsciously looking for – this fireworks and obsession within the first week sort of romance? Or will they think it’s absolutely ridiculous and be turned off from relationships altogether?
If you’re a teenager, have you ever found yourself reading a romance in YA and wishing you could meet someone and have that sort of quick, whirlwind romance?
*The type of person the romantic interest is, is a totally seperate discussion haha
Share your opinions below! You can answer the questions I put forth, talk about something I didn’t cover or anything you want!
Also, I did not purposely plan this post for the first day of February – but it is rather fitting 😆
16 Comments
If you’re a teenager, have you ever found yourself reading a romance in YA and wishing you could meet someone and have that sort of quick, whirlwind romance?
Haha, I relate to this a lot. I think Insta-love is quite un-realistic and becoming very common. I think YA is the main target for Insta-love because it seems to be every teen’s dream. I think It’s kinda impossible for two characters to be brought together so quickly. I mean, seriously, ‘mean to be;. Of course, there are books without Insta-love but I think it’s becoming to common and repetitive.
That’s very true. A lot of books have it for sure! I mean, I get that books are usually only like 300-500 pages so that’s not a lot of time. HOWEVER, they could just make the story span a longer period of time or just, you know, have them like eachother…not fall deeply in love. I like the “like” stories just as much!
Haha, I’m a teenager and I hate insta-love. ? At the moment, I don’t want a boyfriend or anything nor do I want an insta-love type story. I prefer my fictional ships to have some sort of bond before they fall in love with each other. Under-developed relationships are my peeve.
Honestly, that’s good! I feel like insta-love is just SO damn unrealistic. It can be lust, or a crush, or just a like, I don’t know. But to fall deeply in love within a few hours….uh….no. I’m married & I still say that!
I hate insta-love but I like that there’s a difference between insta-love types. In some cases based on how the author approaches the subject, I can tolerate it and understand it. In others it depends on the story development, I just hope it will have some sort of balance. And then there’s the one where the author is aware of the insta-love and the characters try to be “aware” of it as well. It depends but usually I’d rather read a more realistic approach. Great topic!
Oh yes! There are definitely times where they’re aware of it! I forgot about that one. It really does depend – although, I’ve seen a lot of people flat out say they hate it lol I guess I take it on a case-by-case except the ones that only last like a day or week. Those ones kind of infuriate me >.<
Insta-love doesn’t bother me. I don’t tend to judge the reality of my fiction. However, my favorite romances are usually second chance romances, because I love all the history that exists between the hero and heroine.
That makes sense. I can tolerate insta-love sometimes, but other times it’s just frustrating. MAINLY when it’s a contemporary, because even if it’s a work of fiction its based in the real world (i.e. no dragons, magic, kingdoms, evil shadows etc) lol Second chance ones can be really good! I haven’t read many of them, though. >.<
Ugh I hate insta love but I do find the first type you mentioned. Maybe its because its so unrealistic. Then again Disney gives us the biggest spoonfuls of insta-love as kids and we lap it up so no wonder it’s still a big theme.
Exactly! At least as young girls it’s all we see! How the prince comes in and the girl instantly falls in love. So it just made me question it being in YA especially now. It feels like YA is becoming more and more about empowerment and independence and less geared towards romance. But I could be wrong there. Hmm..
Great discussion, Molly! I know I often get aggravated and roll my eyes when reading most insta love romances. I guess I just don’t like the predictability of it all, as it tends to follow a formula (boy and girl get together, they fight, settle misunderstanding, then have a HEA). Your comparison to Disney princesses was spot on!
HAHA that is definitely true! They ARE formulaic. I’ve found myself saying while reading that type of book “alright, when is the fight going to happen” and then when it does “ok, when are they going to make up” lol It is predictable.
Good question!! Honestly my opinion of those books are that the teens who like them are the kind who want that kind of insta-love relationship– so like a wish-fulfillment type of read. I think a lot of adults who read YA don’t like those books as much because we know that not only is that unrealistic, but it’s unhealthy to “love” someone without really knowing them.
That’s true. So then the question is, why do authors write that? They’re adults and have an immense amount of influence over their readers. On one hand, people read for fun. On the other, it can create sort of unrealistic expectations for adult life. Hmmm, I guess we’ll never know!
Interesting topic! I always say I don’t like insta-love but there’s quite a few that I don’t mind lol. I don’t think reading insta-love is detrimental to teens. But I’m old so I could be out of touch and wrong. 😉 I would think they would take the fiction at face value. I’m sure that some teens day dream about meeting a brooding person with great hair and falling madly in love in a day. I can’t say that I blame them. Great post!
hehe I’m the same. I don’t like it, but I can definitely name a few books that have it that I enjoyed lol We’re confusing. Yeah, that’s true. I’m sure they dream, but hopefully they don’t think that’s what real life is – like in the example I used for younger girls, Disney princes lol